“Where can I go from your spirit? Or where can I flee from your presence? If I ascend to heaven, you are there; if I make my bed in Sheol, you are there. If I take the wings of the morning and settle at the farthest limits of the sea, even there your hand shall lead me, and your right hand shall hold me fast. If I say, “Surely the darkness shall cover me, and the light around me become night, even the darkness is not dark to you; the night is as bright as the day, for darkness is as light to you.” – Psalm 139:7-12
When I first read this Psalm, my mind thinks the soul trying to flee the presence of God. “How can I get away from You? Everywhere I go, You’re there.”
“I cry to God Most High, to God who fulfills his purpose for me. He will send from heaven and save me, he will put to shame those who trample on me. God will send forth his steadfast love and his faithfulness.” – Psalm 57:2-3
Then I read Psalm 57 and others and see this more as a cry to God in hope that He is wherever I go. Even in sin, even darkest mortal sin, the soul cries out to God. While the sinful soul may look to flee from God, his deepest desire – even if he doesn’t realize – is to flee to God. The desire of any soul is to find God even in the darkest night.
I’m not theologian, but, I feel God is telling me that He is there. If I am lost and have wandered into the darkest night, Jesus is there. Even the soul who tries to flee from God will find God is there waiting. He is waiting in Holy Hope that the soul will break its stony fleeing heart and run to Him.
I know the Church teaches mortal sin is death of the soul, but, God came to defeat death – and won.
God perseveres to the very end – and there is no end for Him – to bring the soul home. He goes to the deepest depth of hell and death. He mucks through the darkest pits of sin. All simply to find His most lost sheep and carry him home.
I’ve been there. I tried to flee in my self-righteous and hedonistic sin. I was far from God, not seeking to find Him. Yet, in hindsight, I see that everywhere I was, He was there. God was there lighting my path. Though I tried to flee, He kept the light on my path that I would never be totally lost. Then, one day, I saw the light, I saw God before me and crying, ran to Him, jumping into His arms.
So, I will ever exalt God’s mercy and love with a joyful heart and spirit.
“For your steadfast love is as high as the heavens; your faithfulness extends to the clouds. Be exalted, O God, above the heavens. Let your glory be over all the earth.” – Psalm 57:10-11
What’s your story?
“Your word is a lamp to my feet, and a light for my path.” – Psalm 119:105