“Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me; and whoever does not take up the cross and follow me is not worthy of me” – Matthew 10:37-38
How can I possibly go too far in loving my children, grandchildren or wife? It’s taken me a long time to figure out what this means.
Actually, it took building a beautiful life and having kids and then experiencing something new creep into my heart. Fear. Not just love for them, but fear of losing them. Fear of something bad happening. Fear of anything interrupting this beautiful life that me and my wife had built.
And where was that fear coming from? Can I propose a word?
Idolatry.
When we don’t surrender something completely to God in our hearts, whatever we’re holding onto takes hold of us, even if it’s beautiful and good. Whatever we’re not letting be God’s property and possession becomes our little gods.
That’s especially likely to happen with the most precious things in life, isn’t it? We hold on to those things extra tight. And here’s the tragedy. I’ve seen that holding on too tight to something will ruin a soul’s peace. Those months of prayer for my daughter and that night in the ICU were wrapped in idolatry. With folded hands, I was holding on, and pulling back my daughter, His daughter from God’s hand. In this, I was destroying that same peace I sought in prayer.
You’re supposed to live life surrendering everything to God every day. And by everything, I mean everything, including your wife and kids who ultimately are his and not yours.
What happens when we don’t do that? When parents don’t surrender their children to God, they end up living terrified that something bad will happen to their kids. Let me spare you the suspense, something terrible will eventually happen to your kids in this life because they’re mortal. If a husband doesn’t recognize that ultimately God and God alone can fill the heart of his wife, he might exhaust himself with the idea that he can do that. And then his wife becomes his idol, the center of all his efforts in this life.
Jesus said something in Matthew 10 that hits hard. He said, anyone who loves their father or mother more than me is not worthy of me. Anyone who loves their son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.
Wow! This is a tough one.
But if I can also add an ironic twist to Jesus’ words, anyone who loves his life more than God isn’t able to really enjoy it either.
“Those who find their life will lose it, and those who lose their life for my sake will find it” – Matthew 10:39
When I learned to trust God more fully, I was able to let go of my desire to hold to my daughter and give her to God. And, even in that ICU, I found truth of God’s peace.
The Father was giving me the key to peace at the start of that journey. I cried out all our woes and worries at adoration. The first time I ever heard God’s voice was His response to my fears for my daughter. He said, “Trust in Me. I will take care of My daughter.” Imagine if we just listen.
So, we turn in this to the Holy Spirit. We come with the full knowledge that God loves my wife and my kids and me more than I ever could. So, open my heart, Lord, to let go, knowing everything rests in Your hand.