When does God make His Mercy available to the soul?
The soul may feel one must be a friend of God and be at least ‘ok’ before being eligible to receive Mercy. But, that soul who has disregarded God, ignores Him and even spat in His Face doesn’t deserve nor will have God offer any Mercy. I call lie on that premise. Most importantly, God does.
“I perform works of mercy in every soul. The greater the sinner, the greater the right he has to My mercy.” Divine Mercy in My Soul # 723
“[Let] the greatest sinners place their trust in My mercy. They have the right before others to trust in the abyss of My mercy.” Divine Mercy in My Soul # 1146
My story of God starts in just this moment. I had spent years denying God in my life. I was living a hedonistic, sinful life. I didn’t want nor ‘need’ God in my life. My soul was scarlet dark in mortal sins. it wasn’t even that I felt unworthy of mercy, I didn’t want it nor even think about asking for Mercy. How can a soul think of mercy when it ignores God and by his life denies His very existence?
It was here where my soul felt mercy, unasked for and undeserved. God gave me His mercy in a manner I needed most, by being present.
My dad died of a sudden heart attack. I flew from Japan to be at his funeral. Even in the 72 hours from when I learned of his death, I hadn’t looked to God for solace or anything. Kneeling at his casket, alone in the funeral home at 3:00 AM, my heart broke completely. I was shattered. Tears rolling down my face, I didn’t know how I’d move forward without my guide and hero. I spoke to my dad through the tears, “I am so lost. How can I live not ever hearing your advise or voice again?” Here, from out of nowhere, I heard myself say, “but, I know I’ll see you again.” 😮
From the same place from which these words came also flowed a suddenly and total peace and sense of joy.
Years later I found God. I started pursuing Him and learning how to draw near to Jesus. It was in this moment of life that God gave me clear vision of His mercy in the darkest night. He gave me to see clearly again that night. My souls steeped in despair and scarlet of sin, kneeling beside my dad. Jesus stood beside me, tears on His Holy Face as His Sacred Heart broke along with mine. In that moment of deepest despair, He leaned over and whispered in my ear, “don’t despair, My son, you’ll see your dad again.” The words came from my lips, repeating the Lord.
I wasn’t asking for or seeking mercy. I wouldn’t have accepted forgiveness or mercy if offered. So, God gave His great Divine Mercy in an act of love. When I was far away and scorning God with my life, He came to me. When I was in my darkest moment, God cried with me. Most importantly. God showed great mercy to just be there with such a spiteful and sinful man. He was just there.
I didn’t know it then, but, this moment of love and mercy by God was to become a defining moment of light and my salvation.
“Let no soul fear to draw near to Me, even though its sins be as scarlet.” Divine Mercy in My Soul # 699