“I give thanks to you, O Lord my God, with my whole heart, and I will glorify your name for ever. For great is your steadfast love towards me; you have delivered my soul from the depths of Sheol.” – Psalm 86:12-13
We delve back today to journal memories. I sit here this pre-dawn morning reading back to my journals – volume one from 20 or more years ago. This shows me where I was and reminds me how much God loves me.
I see notes of struggles against sin, or of my lack of faith. I am uplifted in these notes of my past steps on my Road of Faith. I see how I was not so bad. I see how my struggles then have built and even shined who I am now.
Reading back two decades I see how great and steadfast is God’s love and how constant is His Divine Mercy.
I think at times we tend to see ourselves only where we are – at least I do. We don’t see the progress God has made within our soul. We listen to the enemy’s whispers that we aren’t changing or getting any better. When, in fact, we have made huge strides towards God’s Divine Will.
We hear how bad we were or are and forget that we are God’s handiwork, having been created for a singular purpose – to be a saint.
This comes to mind today as I read through those days during the summer of darkness I walked through. I can sit and think only about my failure(s) or how lost I was and think of how far I was from God in those days. But, as I read pages from my journal, God reminds me that even in this dark summer, my soul was crying out to Him. Pages and prayers I wrote as I cried out to God that could get lost to memory or the enemy’s erasure of these moments.
From this all, I remember that even in the darkness or just normal, mundane days, God is good. His steadfast love is never ending or lacking (even in dark days). And, so I sing always the greatness of God and remember what He has done for me.
This is how I evangelize. This is how I lift up my heart to God and how He reminds me of His deep, passionate love and tender mercy.