Whether we are aware of it or not, sin weighs us down. Becoming aware of our own sinfulness in the light of God is a source of freedom. Satan gives you a sense of guilt that you will be afraid or ashamed to look as your sinfulness. He terrorizes your mind and heart to keep you from walking into the light of God.
In this light we come ever more readily and thankfully to commend ourselves to the all-encompassing mercy of God. This is why so many saints, mystics, obsess with their own sinfulness, seeming to be almost joy. They know that there is no sin so great that God cannot forgive. As great is our horror of sin, even greater is our rejoicing in the Divine Mercy of God.
“where sin increased, grace increased all the more” – Romans 5:20
The closer one moves toward God, the stronger the pure light of God becomes. It pierces ever more clearly into our hearts,, and thus we see ever more clearly the darkness that lies hidden with us. This is why those saints and mystics speak often and strongly about their sinfulness. St. Faustina, for instance, spoke of her wretchedness before God. They are not exaggerating the truth. Rather, they spoke of the real truth because they saw clearly. Our humanity is full of sin like a basket full of holes leaking out sand.
Paradoxically, as we move closer to God, we feel further away from Him. A true and irrefutable sign of real sanctity is an increasing, yet hope-filled, awareness of one’s sinfulness.
Developing saints on the road of faith increasingly know their sinfulness in the light of God’s goodness. Ironically, this awareness of sin makes them less weighed down by their fallen humanity. To know one’s sinfulness in the pure light of God’s forgiveness and mercy allows souls to let go of this sinful burden and to be lifted up in God’s love – into God Himself.