Worry and doubt

(Jesus speaks to Saint Maria Faustina) 
“Pray as much as you can for the dying. By your entreaties, obtain for them trust in My mercy, because they have most need of trust, and have it the least. Be assured that the grace of eternal salvation for certain souls in their final moment depends on your prayer. You know the whole abyss of My mercy, so draw upon it for yourself and especially for poor sinners. Sooner would heaven and earth turn into nothingness than would My mercy not embrace a trusting soul”. Divine Mercy in my soul # 1783

I can totally understand what Jesus is saying to St. Faustina in this text. “because they have most need of trust“ I can’t imagine the fear and worry as death approaches in those final moments. I know for myself, looking towards that moment, I already have trepidation and to be honest, some fear.
The thoughts that flutter through my mind and heart bring worries of death. What if’s.

I’ve found myself wondering in fear what if God isn’t real, death is a total end. What if I come to stand before God and His judgment looks at all my sins, I will be punished to a deserved and earned hell. How will my family deal with my death? So many thoughts try to take hold in my heart.

This is where that need of prayer for trust comes to play. At the moment of transition, that is death, we stand at a precipice of the ultimate unknown. We stand before a moment that we’ve heard of but very few have experienced to tell us about. And, even those experiences are looked at with some doubt. Death is just such a huge moment.

“because they have most need of trust and have it the least.“

Yes, as a believing Catholic man, I should have no worries or fears to face this moment. I should even long for it. But, I guess this is one point in which my faith isn’t strong enough.

You would think I’d be stronger. I stood before death’s specter several times. My father’s death was an overwhelming experience of Jesus’ presence. As I stood crying beside my dad’s casket, Jesus consoled me with the knowledge that I’d de him again. And this in a moment of trembling sorrow with a period of years of no thought of or faith in God within my heart. I stood before and against death with my daughter twice in the past decade. Jesus was present to me in each instance asking me to trust Him.

But, still when these thought fly into my mind, my heart trembles in fear at the prospect of death.

In all my fears, trust. In fear of judgment and punishment, Jesus consoles the sinner’s soul, “Sooner would heaven and earth turn into nothingness than would My mercy not embrace a trusting soul”. Trust His Divine Mercy.
Fear of God’s reality, remember His words, “ fear nothing, I am always with you” Divine Mercy in my soul # 431. Trust Him

I live each day with my family’s sorrow in this moment in mind. I want them to know two things when I pass to Jesus’s embrace: 1) how much I love them 2) where I am. If they know these things, pain will pass into joy.

Every time we pray the Hail Mary, we are praying for that moment of our death. We pray that our Blessed Mother will be with us in that moment to console our family, to welcome us through the portal from life to LIFE.

“ I am mercy itself for the contrite soul. A soul’s greatest wretchedness does not enkindle Me with wrath; but rather, My Heart is moved towards it with great mercy.”. Divine Mercy in my soul # 1739

”who will proclaim My great mercy. I shall protect them Myself at the hour of death, as My own glory. And even if the sins of soul are as dark as night, when the sinner turns to My mercy he gives Me the greatest praise and is the glory of My Passion. When a soul praises My goodness, Satan trembles before it and flees to the very bottom of hell. During one of the adorations, Jesus promised me that: With souls that have recourse to My mercy and with those that glorify and proclaim My great mercy to others, I will deal according to My infinite mercy at the hour of their death.“ Divine Mercy in my soul 378-379

“If our God is for us, what can stand against us?” Romans 8:31

Hail, Mary, full of grace,
the Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women
and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God,
pray for us sinners,
now and at the hour of our death. 
Amen.