To the cross I run. Holding high my chains undone. Now I am finally free.
I found victory! Reminding me of nail scarred hands reaching out for me.
“But he was wounded for our transgressions, crushed for our iniquities;
upon him was the punishment that made us whole, and by his bruises we are healed.” Isaiah 53:5
What do you see when you look in the mirror? For many years, I saw a sinner. The reflection looking back at me had eyes filled with regret and guilt. Even after the Sacrament of Confession, I felt guilt for the things I had done through my life and even for the things I had confessed but knew I’d do again.
I was bound and chained by my sins and their guilt. I knew within that Jesus would and could forgive any and all my sins, even those chronic and repeat sins. But, I could never seem to let go. The voice of the enemy was louder in my head than Christ’s and to be honest, I was probably more used to hearing his voice.
Jesus never let up and never stopped forgiving me. He kept hitting the reset button each time I’d go to Confession and though I would pick up the guilt and wonder if He could forgive again, Jesus was working within the depths of my heart and soul, and maybe more importantly, He was working on my mind as well. He kept inching me closer to accepting all His Mercy had to offer.
Then, I met His Divine Mercy face to face. I saw how His words to St. Faustina were being said to me. His heart burned to pour mercy upon me, His forgiveness was bursting forth to overpower all my sins, no matter if they were ‘dark as scarlet.” And, He worked through His holy priests to put into the words I could accept. He put a couple great priests in my life to be my confessors. Each brought a different view and way of explaining but they each brought the words of Jesus. One priest even condemned my guilt by telling me to praise God for my sin. What?!? Yes, because these confessed sins actually gave me reason to come to the Sacrament and in that I gave glory to His Mercy and drew closer to God.
Then, Jesus spoke directly. He took the veil off and told me straight up that it is my lack of trust that hurt Him most.
My inability to accept forgiveness for all past and even future transgressions was simply a lack of trust in His Mercy. And, the guilt rushed over me in a good way. I had been professing His Divine Mercy to everyone I could for years but all of the sudden, I heard His words myself. I heard Jesus say, “My son, those who can’t often teach. You teach many to accept My Mercy but can’t accept it yourself. Now, let me teach you.” His lesson was simple, just three little words that rocked me and changed me forever. “I love YOU.”
And with these simple words, I fell to His feet in guilt for my lack of trust and begged Him to forgive me. Jesus lifted me to my feet and said, “My children do not grovel in guilt. Rise, My son.” As I stood, I was looking into the face of the Father.
From that day, I’ve never struggled with guilt again. Well, not long at least. Even in sin, I turn instantly to Jesus for mercy. Every time I know He forgives me. Then, I go first chance to the Sacrament.
Trust Jesus. His love is greater than anything you could ever do to turn from Him. Avoid sin, of course, but glorify Him when you fall by immediately turning back to God for forgiveness. In this act, you snatch victory right out of the devil’s grasp and turn it into a great defeat for he and his forces.
Then, lift your hands high to show the shattered chains!