Trust, trust, trust

“After these things God tested Abraham, and said to him, “Abraham!” And he said, “Here am I.” He said, “Take your son, your only son Isaac, whom you love, and go to the land of Mori′ah, and offer him there as a burnt offering upon one of the mountains of which I shall tell you.” So Abraham rose early in the morning, saddled his ass, and took two of his young men with him, and his son Isaac; and he cut the wood for the burnt offering, and arose and went to the place of which God had told him.” Genesis 22:1-3

The faith and trust of Abraham is an example to which we should all strive in our life. God called out to Abraham, telling him to trust God. And, Abraham did so, absolutely. The more Isaac searched for a sacrifice, the deeper Abraham placed everything in God’s Providence and trusted God.

I came to this same decision – I call it my Abraham/Isaac moment. Though, unlike Abraham, I utterly failed my test.

My daughter had had a seizure earlier that morning. She lay in an ICU bed all day, struggling to breath regularly and heavily sedated to prevent further seizures. She was struggling with regular breath because she had vomited during the seizure and aspirated some into her lungs.

The night before the doctor had told us she would be going home the following day. After 33 days in the hospital that was welcome news for all. On the drive home that night, Jesus tried to prepare me for the events to come. While praying a Rosary for her healing, I heard a voice behind me in the van, “My son, I have to make her sicker before she can get better. Trust me.”

The morning started with the seizure and went downhill from there. I remember praying in my daughter’s room then going to the lounge to sit with my wife before she took the kids home. She saw I was upset and told me, “Jesus said to trust Him, that all will be ok.” I responded, “I am so afraid I might lose her.” My wife reiterated, “we need to trust God, He will take care of this.” My response continued, “I am afraid to lose her, I know if she closes her eyes here, she will wake in Heaven gloriously happy. But, I will have lost her.” My wife repeated, “just trust Jesus, He told her that everything will be ok.”

I faced my Abraham/Isaac moment that evening and failed. God asked Abraham to trust Him with his son, Isaac – Abraham didn’t hesitate. He simply did what he was told with full trust in God. God asked me to trust Him with my daughter, and I responded “NO.” Even after He told me it would be ok, I didn’t listen, I didn’t trust.

This could have been the end for me. My faith was dead – I had nothing left. But, God knew better.

“Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit.” John 12:24

That evening my faith had to die that it may grow and bear much fruit. Early in the morning that night, God started picking up the pieces and forging my faith and trust.

God provided for Abraham’s needs because of his display of trust. God had a depth of trust in me as well. Despite my fall, God saw promise and felt it worth His effort to make this moment a great harvest in my life.

Read the events of this night and the full story of miracles and redeeming love in my book “I knew His Voice”

Do you trust God as totally as Abraham? Just keep your eyes on Jesus and the Father will help you through. Make the prayer “Jesus, I trust in You” the very breath you breathe.

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