Then don’t…

When I think of all God has done in my life, I don’t know how to respond. I don’t know what to think.

I know I deserve hell for all my years of sin. The things I’ve done directly against God Himself, I can’t blame on ignorance. I knew better. I knew right from wrong and good from evil. But, through so many years I always chose the latter. Yes, I see now that God kept me safe from choosing the very bad and losing all – losing my soul. But, nevertheless, when I met Jesus and fell to my knees before Him, “He had every right to cast judgment.”

But, instead, He lifted me from the ashes, wiped the tears from my eyes and drew me into a deep embrace while I sobbed away my sorrows and shame upon His chest. When I think of that encounter, I simply don’t know what to think.

Jesus has answered me as He did Thomas, “Blessed are those who not seen yet believe” John 20:29

There are many times in our journey with Jesus upon the Road of Faith that we simply have to trust and have faith even though every sense and reason tells us otherwise. Our minds tell us, “seeing is believing” but, the eyes of our hearts cry out to just believe – make a leap of faith.

I know I overthink things too much. It gets me in trouble, causes stress and draws my mind to unbelief. God calls us all to trust in Him. Very simple but so difficult.

Have you ever asked God for a sign? That was my modus operandi for so many years of my life and into my walk with Jesus. Still is at times to be honest.

I would look to God for proof of His existence and presence. “Show me, Lord, that You are here by…” Then, came the morning my daughter had her second seizure and helicopter flight to an ICU. My first reaction fit my MO – “God, I know Your Power, please heal her.” I know, what’s wrong with a father calling out to God to heal his critically ill daughter? Nothing, unless he is looking for proof of God instead of trusting His presence.

That morning, Jesus spoke to me in the day’s Gospel. The Gospel was from Matthew 16, and He said, “An evil and adulterous generation asks for a sign, but no sign will be given to it except the sign of Jonah.” (16:4). That morning, He broke another layer of hardness I had built around my heart.

My Marian Consecration taught me more of this trust and faith. We are asked in this Consecration to trust her with our prayers and needs. Trust that she will apply them where most needed. But, that means my prayer might go somewhere or to someone else when I need it most. Mary’s love can not be outdone. Do you think our mother will not take care of us?

If in total trust of God, we surrender to Him the outcomes without condition, “how much more will the heavenly Father give” Luke 11:11

Let God rule your life. Total surrender. Learn from St. Thomas who said, “unless I see in His hands the prints of the nails, and place my finger in the mark of the nails and my hand in His side”, then made one of the greatest Faith declarations in history. Make this declaration now – “My Lord and my God”. John 20:24, 28

When you look at a situation or something from God and your first reaction is to say, “I don’t know what to think” – “well then, don’t – just have faith and leap.”