The Bloody Cross

I recently heard this story that has really hit me and is making me think hard about who I and compared to who I should be.

There was a missionary who went to a far away land. He evangelized and helped the indians of the land to see Jesus and accept the Lord. He had to leave his mission unexpectedly. Twenty years later, the missionary returned to this land. He met one of the men who he had converted. He asked the Indian, “have you remained faithful these twenty years, my son?” He replied, “yes, black robe.” The missionary asked, “have you stayed away from the whiskey and the results of it?” “Yes, black robe, I have stayed away from the whiskey.” “Have you not gone to confession during these 20 years?”, asked the missionary. The Indian replied, “no.” “You have not committed a mortal sin in those years?” “No, black robe, I have not. Do you mean the white men could look at our God on the cross could ever win again?”

The Lord has spoken to me directly and audibly on several occasions. He appeared physically to my daughter on two occasions. See my book “I Knew His Voice” for the full story.

I know without doubt that these events occurred. No waiver of my mind or heart on the truth of these events. I’ve reflected upon these events and wondered why I still sin. My middle name is Thomas and I share his heart at times. He stood in the presence of our Lord, saw His miracles, sat around the fire at night receiving ‘after hours’ teaching. From the Lord’s own lips he was told of the crucifixion. But, even with all these proofs, when the time came on that first Easter, he doubted the resurrection.

I look in the mirror and don’t like what I see. I see a sinner where I should see a saint. Knowing the truth as firmly as I do, I should be walking on water and doing great saintly things. But, I continue to live a life in sin.

I am envious of the Indian in this story. He could look upon the bloody cross of Christ and be forever changed. I look at the cross daily. I pray the “Jesus Prayer” nightly over the wounds of the Lord on the Cross of St. Benedict hanging on our wall. I pray this daily many times because I continue to sin.

“I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate.” Romans 7:15

I ask myself, “Why am I still a sinner?” The truth I know should have changed me.

And, in a conversation recently with a brother in Christ it came clearer. It has changed me. I may not be sinless, but, I do sin less. And, most of all, through these past years I’ve drawn very close to the Lord. And, like Thomas, I’ve gone from the doubter’s heart to making the same great proclamation, “my Lord and my God.” John 20:28

Let’s spend these remaining days of Lent focusing upon the bloody cross of Jesus. Reflect upon what Jesus has done for each of us. And, what He is asking of us now that we’ve seen His scrounged body and pierced heart. Then, step off of Calvary into a new life. One of less sin and ultimately of sinlessness.

Proclaim to the world with St. Thomas and I, “MY LORD AND MY GOD!”

Visit the Cross of St. Benedict through this link to see their magnificent crucifixes.