“The prayer of the righteous is powerful and effective” James 5:16
Meditating as I drive today upon prayer. I wonder if the sum value of a lifetime of prayer added up in the right column. Yes, all prayer is valuable, of course. Prayer isn’t to changed God’s heart but to change ours.
As I look back over five decades of memories, I can see many, many prayers that were so selfish. Nothing to do with aligning to God’s Will, but, solely to get God to do my will. How horrible was I? Wow. I guess I can thank God for unanswered prayers.
But, as the miles drift by on the long Illinois highway, I start doing some math – haha, yea maybe some weird algebraic, new age cypher if (I was never good at math). Seriously, though, as the math begins to add up, even those bad, or selfish prayers that were demanding of God a return, I start to see as valuable.
Each prayer, some answered, some not, some, I’m not sure about, was moving the needle within my soul. But, maybe more importantly, these ‘bad’ prayers were keeping me close to God. Even though the prayers and my intentions were wrong and demanding of God, they kept me turning to God.
As I’ve grown in my faith and mostly, in my trust, I am coming to align my prayers to God’s Divine Will. Slowly and often painfully, I am learning to bend my desires to what God Wills. I still have a long long road on this faith journey, but each step, each prayer bring me a bit closer to desiring what God desires.
“The Will be done” is truly meaningful and desired within my soul now. I make no deals to tie to my prayer, just simply go to my Father. I don’t hold back my prayer asks, but I do fold the end into His Divine Will. And, I trust that God knows it all and the road of faith I must travel to come home to Him – so I go. And, more often my desire in prayer is simply to be with Jesus, not ask or require anything of Him.
I desire and stride forward to the day my heart is like St. Faustina’s….
“My heart is a permanent dwelling place for Jesus. No one but Jesus has access to it. It is from Jesus that I derive strength to fight difficulties and oppositions. I want to be transformed into Jesus in order to be able to give myself completely to souls. Without Jesus I would not get near to souls, because I know what I am of myself. I absorb God into myself in order to give Him to souls.” Divine Mercy in My Soul # 193