When God’s light shines within the depths of our souls, we realize that we are a dark wood of ignorance and sin. We have become resistant to the light because of our ignorance and sin. Our resistance to the light is savage because our habitual sins are willful. We don’t want to see because we don’t want to change.
Our inner darkness can be so deep and our resistance to seeing the truth of our lives so fierce that only God can impart the knowledge upon our soul. “It is impossible to perceive one’s darkness without the divine light focusing on them’ St. John of the Cross.
When God shines His light into our soul, we can experience affliction and torment. This is because we don’t see the light but instead see what the light is shining upon.
Divine grace that flows into us can be likened to a day of light that shines through a slat into a darkened room by which we see specks of dust floating in the air. The soul, because of its impurity, suffers greatly at the time this divine light breaks through. As it beholds its impurity by means of this light.
We cannot experience the true nature of this divine inflow because we are engulfed in the conscience of our sinfulness. As the darkness becomes visible, we are overcome with guilt and feel so unclean and wretched that it would seem God could love us or even would be against us.
But, God’s hand is not heavy upon us in condemnation. On the contrary, His touch is light and full of mercy, God’s aim is to grant the soul favors, not chastisement.
If we look at God through a lens of guilt, Mercy can feel like wrath. But, when we see God for Who He is, Love and see Him for His greatest attribute, Mercy, all that changes and we see even chastisement as love and mercy of a Father, not punishment.
Then, this divine light is seen as calling us out of the darkness into His marvelous light and grace. Leaving behind our old life, now we are able to walk away from those sins that were a thorn in our side and source of darkness in our hearts and guilt in our minds. The darkness unravels and we experience the warmth of the light in God’s loving presence and Divine Mercy.