“An evil and adulterous generation asks for a sign, but no sign will be given to it except the sign of Jonah.” Then he left them and went away” Matthew 16:4
Do come to Jesus seeking answers or simply seeking His Presence?
For so many years I’ve been the poster child of tit for tat. “God, do this and I’ll do..” or “show me..”
I’ve come to see these requests as lack of faith and trust. When I was offering to do something in exchange for a gift, it was purely selfish. And, when I demanded a sign as proof, there was no trust or faith that He would respond.
I would use God as a vending machine or prayer. Put my prayer token (or token prayer) in and get a nice tasty treat out. Maybe if I was lucky, it would be a slot machine jackpot.
Even in the moments of my highest faith, this was an ingrained poison within my soul.
When my daughter was sickest, I knew God could heal her with the simple touch of His cloak. But, I would always preface the prayers by saying, “show me Your Power so I may glorify You.” Like God needs to show proof of His Power or presence. This add-on was always due to my fear and lack of trust and faith.
If the soul truly believes God the Father has its best in mind for its Road of Faith, why does the soul need instant gratification in seeing any signs?
These months for me were a time of great growth. God allowed me to fall to the bottom in order to open my eyes. These difficult days of His not answering with signs was like a detox for my soul.
It came to test when my daughter had a second seizure several years later. That morning, Matthew 16:4 was the Gospel. I read it and the. Got the call of her medical emergency. My first thought was healing and proof. But, Jesus’ words rang out lovingly to me. “Do you believe, my son? Then, trust”
Next time you feel the need of a sign of God’s presence or power, ask yourself, “do you believe?” Then, just trust.