Seek forgiveness

”Seek first the Kingdom of God” Matthew 6:33

Seek: (verb) to go in search of, to look for, to try to discover.  Seek is an action verb.  

To seek mercy is tremendous but a soul can’t do that if it doesn’t first seek forgiveness. How can that be? Well, just look at my story in yesterday’s reflection – “Seek Mercy”. I was begging for God for mercy but I couldn’t forgive myself. Until that forgiveness can be asked and received, how can a soul receive Mercy?

I heard a story during homily at Mass that really hit home and made this come alive in my mind and soul. The priest who told this story is Father Ed (great name for sure) and he is from Africa – Nairobi, I believe.

”Once every 2 weeks or so, the villages would have ‘market days’. Everyone would come to town with their wares and goods to sell. Since everyone was heading to town to sell things at the market, it was easy to find a ride from the outlying areas. A man was moving from his village to town but it wasn’t a market day. But, he told his friends that he would just trust that he’d find a ride. He had all his belongings packed in his luggage and set out. The Africa sun was blazing. He had a long distance to travel but he left confidently. Since his luggage was so heavy, he decided to carry it on his head in the hot sun. He set off and walked for over an hour. The heat and sun, plus the load he was carrying on his head started to wear at him. He didn’t have a choice, he had to press onward. He couldn’t go back and because of the heat, he was struggling to go further.
In the distance from behind, he suddenly heard the sound of an approaching vehicle. He was saved! He thought. The vehicle came closer, he could tell even from a distance that the vehicle was heavily loaded. As it came closer, he saw the even the interior had packages, including the passenger seat. As it came along side, he saw the back of the vehicle was packed. There was no space at all. The driver stopped beside the man. He told him that there wasn’t much room, but if he could find any space in the back, he was welcome to ride along to town. The man went to the rear of the vehicle, saw a small area and squeezed in. He was so thankful for the ride, it truly saved him from the heat and long walk ahead.

After some time, the driver noticed his passenger seated in the back of the vehicle, still with his luggage on his head. He stopped the vehicle and went to the rear, asking the man, “why do you still have your luggage on your head in the heat?” The man looked at him and replied, “well, I saw that your vehicle was already heavily burdened by your load. I didn’t want to add so much more weight, so, I kept my luggage on my head. That way, I would carry the weight of my luggage instead of your putting the burden on your vehicle’””

This is where so many soul are now. They walk in the scorching desert of their sin. No way to go back and with such a burden, no way to move forward. They pray to God for help. And, being Merciful and Loving, He answers. Jesus offers from the cross to carry the soul from the scorching heat to Heaven. But, the soul can’t let go of its luggage, its sin. Despite the Divine Mercy of God being offered the soul, the soul holds on to its weight of past sins.

I’ve been there! I’d go to the Sacrament of Reconciliation and confess my sins. Jesus would give me full pardon and absolution. His mercy would refresh my soul but I would leave the confessional and pick up my baggage again to carry it again.

“as far as the east is from the west, so far he removes our transgressions from us.” Psalm 103:12

My spiritual director helped me see these words of The extent of God’s Mercy. He said that after he gave me absolution first my sins, I couldn’t come back to him the next day asking for advise on those sins. Once God grants His forgiveness, the soul can’t go back to God about those same sins. As the priest is to forget sin once forgiven, God separated them from memory as far as the East is from the west. He wipes them from existence as if they never occurred in the first place. That is how wide God’s Mercy is for the penitent soul.

If you are carrying the burden of past sins and guilt, renounce Satan’s lie that God won’t forgive and forget. Go to Confession, seek God’s pardon for your sins and ask Him to forgive your mistrust of His Divine Mercy. Throw your baggage on the cross, Jesus can carry that load. For Him it is a burden already cast aside. The walk out of the confessional into a new life as a free man or woman.

God’s forgiveness always knocks, but it can never entered into a heart that is closed.

“Others distrust My goodness and have no desire to experience that sweet intimacy in their own hearts, but go in search of Me, off in the distance, and do not find Me. This distrust of My goodness hurts Me very much. If My death has not convinced you of My love, what will?“. Divine Mercy in my soul # 580