My path to being Catholic is not the most direct nor straight road. Sometimes, our Road of Faith is more like a constantly ‘recalculating.’
“We know that all things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose. For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son” Romans 8:28-29
My Road of Faith has been very indirect. I was baptized and catechized Roman Catholic. In my home, our faith and Jesus Christ were not discussed. We never really prayed. Except once, I remember preparing for my first confession and Communion. I was learning the ‘Our Father’ and ‘Hail Mary.’ My mother called out as I came down from my room, “say the Hail Mary.” And, as I took the first step, I said, “Hail Mary..”. And all the grace left as I came tumbling down the stairs. “Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we ought, but that very Spirit intercedes[q] with sighs too deep for words.” Romans 8:26
My parents did what they could to teach me their faith but I didn’t catch it. I am not so sure that I really even believed in God. I had a very bad view of Who God was and His purpose. Despite not knowing God and having a view of God as a gift giver who seldom answered, God was still active in my life. “And God, who searches the heart, knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God.” Romans 8:27
God came to me one night at 3:00 AM. The first time I encountered God and His love was at the lowest moment of my life, in my darkest hour and in a time of life which placed me furthest from God. I knelt in tears next to my dad’s casket. I cried that I would never hear his voice, get his advise or hear him tell me he loved me. I lost the greatest man I had ever known, my hero and idol. I’m that moment God’s voice spoke in the darkness, “you’ll see your dad again.” These words came from my mouth and washed me in a peace I had never known. Jesus was at my shoulder giving me hope and comfort when I had thought of Him nor care to even seek Him at all, even in this hour. “His Mercy endures forever” (Psalm 136:1), even when we’re running.
This was a seedling moment of my life that will resonate forever into eternity. My darkest hour when I was furthest from God, God showed He still loved me.
Meditate upon your life. How was the faith handed down to you. What are the seminal moments that stand out in your early faith life? What road has your faith reveled down?