““Everyone therefore who acknowledges me before others, I also will acknowledge before my Father in heaven; but whoever denies me before others, I also will deny before my Father in heaven.” Matthew 10:32-33
For many years, most of my life, I wasn’t necessarily a believer. I was born in a Catholic family, received all the education and sacraments to be a Christian. Despite all of this, I never really drew what was taught or maybe truly believed. Growing up I prayed to the ‘vending machine’ god – requests of God for what He could give. You know, put prayer in the slot and get back the treat.
When I served in the USAF in Okinawa, I co-worker would invite me to join him at church, but I never gave in. I always had some excuse, always selfish at the core. I would never say no to his invitation. I would say things to talk around it like. ‘I believe but I worship God in my heart.’ Just my way of saying that God isn’t that important, not part of my life, not real to me.
I was the little selfish boy we read of in Luke 15. I was the prodigal son who wanted his, in doing so, saying his father is dead.
Then, all came apart one night with a knock on the door. My 1st Sergeant came that evening and told me that my father had died. I rushed home from the other side of the world. The night I landed, my mother had arranged for me to visit the funeral home. At 3AM, I knelt beside his casket and stared down at the face of the greatest man I’ve ever known, my hero and probably my best friend. My heart was broken. God broke through my stony heart by a leap of faith – I hoped beyond hope at that moment that I would see my dad again. I was brought to the end of me and left my squalor to go home to my Father.
Flash forward now many years, and that seed has grown, watered by a great woman’s faith. My wife opened me to a faith that had dormant my whole life. She introduced me to Jesus. My life changed forever.
I quit smoking the day I married my wife and to replace the habit, I started reading the Bible. Every break or lunch when I gas gone to smoke, now I spent in the Word.
One of the first verses I found, in fact I’ve seen before but never knew what it was – John 3:15 “For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him may not perish but may have eternal life.”
The next verse hit me between the eyes was Matthew 10:33. I had never denied Christ, had I? Not really in words but my actions spoke louder than my words could. I had denied Jesus by my inaction.
I swore that day, I would never be accused of denying Jesus by anyone. Most of all, someday when I stand before my Judge, He will know my name by my actions and words.
Jesus is my Lord and Savior and He died for my sins. Now I’m lost in His freedom!
I found over the past nearly 20 years that God has given me so many blessings. If all I had received was His Divine Mercy, that would have been enough. But, the graces and blessings I’ve been given far outmatch my imagination. Why would He choose me for these graces? Why would He give me so much of His mercy? Why would He die for me? I can never answer these questions – i don’t deserve any of His grace, love or mercy. But, that doesn’t stop God from being Who He is – Love. He chose me maybe because of my inadequacies and my failings. If He would redeem me…anything is possible.
I see this not as something to be earned because I could never merit these gifts. But, I’ve been given so much, I feel the urge to pay it forward. The Father gives us His Love and Mercy and only asks that we give Him back love. I can repay Him by being the vessel of His Mercy message. Yes, I know much has been given and in that gift, much is expected. When we were in Poland, Jesus asked me to be His apostles of Divine Mercy – He gave me a mission. I answer every day, “here I am, Lord. Send me”
“to whom much has been given, much will be required; and from the one to whom much has been entrusted, even more will be demanded.” Luke 12:48