“Therefore, to keep me from becoming unduly elated by the wondrous nature of these revelations, I was given a thorn in the flesh, a messenger of Satan, to beat me and prevent me from becoming unduly elated. Three times I begged the Lord to have it leave me, but he answered me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness.” Hence, I will boast most gladly of my weaknesses, in order that the power of Christ may dwell within me.” 2 Corinthians 12:7-9
How many times I’ve begged God to remove the thorn of sin from my life. I want to be a saint, but this thorn pierces and breaks the hope of that balloon. I am a wretched, horrible sinner who has crossed God and betrayed His trust in me more times than I could even imagine. I’ve denied Him, found things more worthy of my time and committed acts of sin that darken my soul a deep crimson. I am unrecognizable from the soul God created, from the babe who was washed with Baptism’s graces.
I beg God to take each sin and temptation, bind it and cast it into a deep cell, far from my reach that I may be free of each sin and able to rise to His Throne.
Do you find yourself ever in this place with this thought in mind? ‘How can I ever rise as a saint and not face judgment and wrath with this thorn?
“As many times as you seek My mercy, you glorify me”
Jesus says to me, “I left the thorn with Paul. I didn’t change Peter’s temper or rashness. For the same reasons, I don’t remove your thorn. That it might remind you of your weakness and of My Divine Mercy.”
The ‘thorn’ turns my eyes and heart to God. Sometimes in shame, yes. But, each time I am reminded of my weakness to overcome the world in my heart. Each time I raise my eyes, even in shame, to beg His mercy, knowing I don’t deserve it. Yet, each time i find Jesus looking at me with tears of joy. Welcoming me back.
If you face the struggle of ‘the thorn’ in your life, never stop begging God to remove it. A thousand or million times, always ask. Who knows? Maybe this time He will heal you. If not, glorify Him because you again turned back to God’s strength in your weakest hours.