The dark night of the soul is not an evil to be endured; it’s a good for which we should be grateful. Of course, it doesn’t always seem that way. The thought of plunging into a spiritual abyss and losing all the sweetness in our relationship with God strikes few as appealing. But neither does surgery. Having cancer removed from our bodies isn’t a fun process. Nevertheless, we submit to the surgeon’s knife readily and quickly, knowing that the sooner we have the surgery, the sooner we can live a healthy, full life.
What’s true on the natural level is true on the supernatural level. If we want to become the people God made us to be and live the lives He made us to live, we must let Him excise sin and unhealthy attachments from our souls. There’s no getting around it.
I prayed for months for healing for my daughter. Then, crisis struck and my faith collapsed. I experienced a dark night. God withdrew His presence from me. I walked through a time that all my spiritual exercise from Mass, to prayer, to journaling and reading the Bible, was empty and a struggle. After a few months of this state of soul, I finally figured out something was wrong. Yes, I’m slow on the uptake. Most would discern an issue pretty quickly, not me. But, once I felt a wrongness, I faced it. I started praying, asking God where He was and why He wasn’t helping me. Of course, first reaction was to blame God not look in the mirror. God patiently allowed this state to continue. Until I came to understand, it was a lesson of trust and faith.
Like Peter, I denied Jesus in my moment of crisis. So, God allowed the dark night as a higher education lesson in faith and trust. I know now that God never left my side. He was always ‘standing in the wings.’ He kept enough light on my dark road to insure I didn’t get lost but enough darkness that I felt the wrongness. God then started inserting lessons. He gave me a priest who pointed out the issue of trust in my soul and then, set the stage for me to learn and understand this higher level of trust and faith He was calling me to.
God could easily have answered my prayers for healing and His presence. He chose not to do that I would be ‘forced’ to move forward. If He would have answered all those prayers, I would have avoided the dark night. But, I would be the same man I was. Because He allowed me to endure the dark night, I trust God more than ever. I trust God FIRST, before even turning in prayer.
If you’ve walked through, are walking though or find yourself someday in the dark night, stay the course. Never lose heart. Don’t force huge changes. Fix any errors in your spiritual life, ask God to open the eyes of your heart to what He wants to teach you. And, learn.
Don’t forget to praise God – even in the darkness.