Nothing, Believer, Knower – part 2

The believer slowing begins to see as in just a few months following the funeral, my first daughter is born in Okinawa. I can remember vividly the first time I looked down at this baby, only 2-3 minutes old. As I looked at this treasure, my first thought was of God, “this must be how God feels when she looks at us”. I have no idea why that would come to mind, my life was no closer to God now that over the past 6 years. But, I knew at that moment the joy God sees when He looks at His children. We had Kristina baptized 3 weeks later on Kadena AB, my first venture back to church was very short.

About 15 months later, holding Kristina one evening as we we waited for her sister Kaitlyn’s birth I wondered, “how will I be able to love your sister when all my love is wrapped up in you”. When her sister was born, I again knew the love of God and instantly had the answer to that prior evening’s prayer. I wasn’t sitting or sharing my love between these two princesses, God exponentially increased my capacity to love them both. So now, I didn’t even have the ‘normal’ love for Kristina but had love multiplied for her AND her newborn sister.

When our son, Christopher was born, I knew God increased my capacity to love each of my children many times over. None shared my love as they all had a very special place in my heart and each had their own love pouring from me.

God was working through my Baptism and Confirmation but I didn’t yet know this was all coming from Him. Each of my children filled me with such joy that I felt my heart would overflow. I could not conceive of the ability to love any more than I love each of my babies. But, now as Kristina approaches 30, God has continued to show me how much more my heart can love.

Five years later, a divorced, single father of 3, I met a beautiful woman. She was beautiful on a scale I could never have dreamt of in my wildest dreams or imagination. Her beauty radiated from her soul and heart. I also met her little girl, Samantha. Our second date included our kids and they were instantly a family. Connie led me to God but her purity and life. I started to attend Mass, only the 4th time in church in the past 14 years – my father’s funeral and the baptisms of my 3 children. After a couple of months of being at Mass simply to be with Connie, I started to listen to the readings and homilies. Then, one Mass, I knew the piece of bread the priest was holding was Jesus. No doubt, the knowledge radiated from this Host.
Five months after that first date, I asked her dad for permission to marry his daughter. I already had the ring but I knew this was the right way to do this and I wanted it to be perfect. I proposed on Christmas Eve and one year after that first date we were married. Samantha became my 3rd daughter, just two months older than Kaitlyn. Four beautiful children separated by less than 4 years. That day, God showed me again His love as I looked at my newest daughter Samantha. He spoke to my heart that day, sharing with me His feelings. We are His adopted children, He chose us to be His children and His love for us is total. And, I’m that moment I realized God had shown me again how much I could love.
There was never a doubt in my heart that Samantha was my daughter. I am so blessed to have her in my life. My wife and each of my children have been instrumental to the growth of my faith. Take away any of those pieces and I would kit be the man I am today.

The man who had no faith at all now saw faith breaking through the hardened heart..