This reflection wasn’t intended for today but feels right because of today’s Gospel, John 10:22-30. The following is an excerpt from my journal on January 24, 2011. This miracle was the driver for writing and published my book. ‘I Knew His Voice’. To order my book, go to the catalog menu from the homepage of THEROADOFFAITH (or direct from Amazon) and read the full story.
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This is what occurred Sunday night January 23rd. Understand that there is no way I can convey in words the experience of that night…but I was there and saw it happen, I heard the words and the tone behind the words, I felt something..
My daughter was suffering some severe ‘kidney’ pain that caused me to have to rush her to the ER. On the way to the ER she basically lost consciousness and was incoherent. I kick myself, I should have called an ambulance. We got to the ER, they did several tests and when she was ‘awake’ she had no idea what was going on or even who I was for a long time. She finally was able to relax enough to doze off after a few hours of suffering this pain that she rated 10 out of 10 in intensity.
While she dozed I prayed, I had no clue what was wrong, all I had was prayer. I prayed from as deeply within me as I have in a long time that is saying a lot considering the heart behind my prayers lately.
I had been leaning against her bed side and praying for a few hours when I looked up at Kristina’s face and saw tears literally flowing down her cheeks. I asked her what was wrong. She replied “He’s nice”
I asked her “Who is nice?” She answered, “He’s very nice” Her whole posture seemed more relaxed. I again asked “Who is very nice?” She answered “Jesus” I told her “of course He is, you know He loves you”
Her reply blew me away!
She said “I know He told me, He’s right here” I was like “what?!?” She said “yes He is right here beside me (she pointed to the other side of the bed) He’s holding my hand”
I looked up and tears started to flow as all I could say “What!?!?” She replied “yeah, He’s nice, He said He loves me and that I’m going home” The tears flowed in a torrent and my fear of those words struck me, “What?!?!” You can imagine my fear of the ‘home’ she was talking about. I was terrified that Christ had come to take her with Him and that I would lose my daughter that night. “What?!?!? What did He say, baby?”
Kristina replied “yeah, He said not to be afraid. He said I am going home with CJ, Samanatha, Kaitlyn, mom and Buddy. He said don’t be afraid that everything was going to be alright” My tears were flowing freely as I replied “He told you everything is ok? He is here now?”
“Yes He said everything will be alright, don’t be afraid”. And she stopped talking. As I sat beside her with my head bowed in prayer I looked down and saw a puddle of tears at my feet.
The next afternoon I asked her if she remembered what happened. She didn’t. I conveyed some of what had occurred and she was upset that she didn’t remember. I was sad she didn’t remember such a remarkable experience but wondered if maybe He came to console me through her for that He has done.
The following afternoon I got to her room after work, her mother came in to be with her and help us out. Her mother stepped out and Kristina turned to me and said “dad I napped today and had a dream about Jesus.
When I woke I remembered everything that had happened Sunday night” She went on to tell me her side of what happened ‘in the dream’ – this matched my view exactly.
She said she was sleeping but felt tense and afraid when a warmth washed over her. She ‘opened’ her eyes and beside her stood a man. She couldn’t see His face because there seemed to be a bright light behind His head, something that reminded her of a sun lit halo.
The man looked down at her and said “Kristina, do you trust me?” She said “Who are you?” He replied “do you know who I am, Kristina?” She said, “I don’t recognize you but your voice, I know your voice. Who are you?” He replied “Kristina, do you trust me?” She asked “our you Jesus Christ?”
He replied “Kristina do you trust me?” She answered “yes Lord I trust you” He said “Kristina, if you trust me, then be not afraid for I am with you always” She said “I am scared” He replied “do not be afraid, Kristina, everything will be ok, you’re going to go home soon and everything will be alright” She told me He put His hand on hers and said “trust me Kristina, everything will be alright. You will be going home with your family, to be with CJ, Samantha, Kaitlyn, your mom and Buddy”
The blessing that our Lord would come to be with His daughter in her time of need, I can only attribute that to the prayers being offered to His Throne for her. Thank you all.
All kinds of Scripture came to me immediately.. “my sheep know my voice, I know them and they follow me” John 10:27
“Be not afraid” the 366 times God tells us that throughout the Bible Hymn “Be not afraid, I go before always, come follow me and I will give you rest” “and be sure, I am with you always” Matthew 28:20