There’s a passage from The Great Divorce by C.S. Lewis that comes to mind here. Lewis offers an image of a purgatory-like place where souls are given the chance to take a bus to Heaven. When they arrive, the souls are presented with a choice: to stay in Heaven or to board the bus back to Hell. You’d think it would be an easy decision, right? But one by one, many of the souls choose to get back on the bus.
One of these tourists arrives in Heaven with an unpleasant little lizard on his shoulder. The creature is sly and controlling, clearly representing a deeply rooted vice that has come to dominate the man’s life. Just as the man is about to go back into the bus to Hell, an angel appears and offers to kill the lizard. But the lizard insists that without him, the man will be nothing—that the angel’s offer is dangerous, even fatal. The lizard claims the man’s very self will disappear without him. And so the man is left with a choice. Will he trust the lizard? Or take that leap of faith, trusting that there’s something better if he gets rid of the lizard? Will he trust the angel?
So the man in the story had a choice, and so do we. Turn now to a time of prayer to explore what this story might mean for our own struggle against vice.
Begin by picturing yourself in this purgatory-like place. You’ve come up from the great town along with the other travelers. You step off the bus and find yourself standing at the edge of Heaven. It’s more beautiful than you could have imagined. It’s vast and lush and good. And yet, as you begin to take it all in, something weighs on you.
All of us are attached to sins or vices that hold us back from being the person God is calling us to be. These attachments are just like the lizard in the story, convincing us that we can’t live without the very things that are keeping us in chains. It could be a sin we keep committing, a lie we keep believing, or a mistake from the past that we just can’t let go of. Take a moment to notice whatever it is that you’ve brought with you today.
Now imagine that standing in front of you is Saint Michael. He asks, with both power and tenderness, “May I kill it? May I take away this vice in your life?” How would you respond to this question? In his story, the man makes all sorts of excuses. Perhaps he can control the lizard better in the future. Maybe another day would be better. But the angel asks again, “Do I have permission to kill the lizard?”
Talk to God about what keeps you from Him. Without self-condemnation, speak to God about where you struggle and where you need help. At the end of the story, the man surrenders and gives the angel permission. The angel kills the lizard, but it doesn’t disappear. Instead, it’s transformed.
The creature rises again as a radiant, powerful stallion. Man himself is changed too—stronger, freer, more fully alive. Take a moment to recognize what the Lord can do in your life. Despite your fears, despite your worries, despite your attachments, think about what would happen if you said yes to the Angel’s offer.
What if God could transform your vices into something beautiful?
Let St. Michael into your life and destroy the lizard(s) that cling to you and hold you back from full life and connection to God.