“Come let us discover something new
Cause we’re all pilgrims on a journey to the truth
We’re all wanderers relying on a man
To help us understand
Cause everybody wants to see the proof
We’re always tripping on our pride to get to You
So blessed are the ones who haven’t seen
But still believe”. “Everything and Nothing” Matt Maher
“Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.” Hebrews 11:1
So many times in our lives ‘seeing is believing’. With all the fake news and false narratives, all the commercials and shows that tell us ‘the truth’ of what we should and Social media ‘news’ that doesn’t even rise to the level of the fake news. Walk along a magazine rack at the check out line to see a directory of false beliefs that we’re being sold as truth – do this and lose 20lbs, this star cheated on that one, dying words of a star who hasn’t died yet, horoscopes (ugh a portal of the occult).
But, often this is even true about our faith. If only Jesus would appear to me or speak to me, I would believe, if only Jesus would come back all would be better (well that last one is true really).
“An evil and adulterous generation asks for a sign, but no sign will be given to it” Matthew 16:4
We all ask Jesus for proof; it’s human nature. At least, I know I have and often still find myself doing this. Even after He’s given me indisputable proof I’m my life. I remember prayers long ago, “God if you do this, I’ll do…”. And even in the past years offering something as repayment for something I was asking of Him. Jesus was my ‘Vending Machine God”. Put prayer in, get answer back.
Many times when my daughter was first diagnosed, I would come to God seeking a miracle. Nothing wrong with coming to God and asking for a tremendous gift. He is a good Father Who will give gifts bigger than our imagination. But, for me, I was ‘missing the trees for the forest’. I kept asking God for the miracles I sought and was totally oblivious to the gifts that He was giving me that in many ways far outshined what I was asking for.
Another unassociated situation that illustrates this is when I had been asking God to help me learn to pray. My prayer life was a shambles, I struggled to maintain focus through prayer, I couldn’t maintain a steady prayer in the Rosary or Breviary. I would bounce around from one form to another not ‘finding peace’. So, I started asking God to teach me to pray, to maintain a focused prayer life that was about drawing closer to and getting to know Him. I prayed this everyday for months but I didn’t feel any changes. Then, one day at Mass, the Gospel was Luke 11. “Lord, teach us to pray”. The priests homily had me sitting with jaw dropped and eyes glazed over. He said that many times we sit and beg God to give us a better prayer life and miss the fact that in our prayers, we have the prayer life we desire. I suddenly realized that for months I had been feeling like God wasn’t listening to my prayer. He wasn’t helping me to learn to pray. But, I had totally missed that He was doing that everyday by sitting there in silence as I spoke to Him.
In both situations, I needed proof that God was listening and acting but has missed the fact that He was tight in front of me. In those months with my daughter, He was literally right before me, speaking to me in my heart and with verbal words. Jesus was teaching and giving me all I needed to be strong; the teaching in the words on the Divine Mercy Image “Jesus, I trust in You”. But, I was so caught up in me and what I thought His answer should look like that I totally missed His answers and presence.
This has all been a great learning process for me and a tremendous lesson in trust and living the the moment. As Jon Bon Jovi sang, “oh we’re halfway there ohhhh living on a prayer.” It is Jesus who responds, “take My Hand, we’ll make it, I swear.”
We can’t get so caught of within forest that we miss the trees right in front of us. Jesus is always present, He is always listening and answering. We need to stop to listen as Elijah learned in 1 Kings 19:11-13. God speaks not in the tremendous earthshaking manner but in ‘a still small voice’.
All souls are striving to find the truth, we can’t get so caught up in our pride that we miss The Truth Who is standing right before us. “I once was blind but now I see”. Blessed are those who believe without seeming.
For more on the story of my faith journey through that year with my daughter and to see the miracle He did, read “I knew His Voice”. Available in paperback and Kindle on Amazon – click link below.
Saint Faustina wrote, “The Lord visited me today and said, ‘My daughter, do not be afraid of what will happen to you. I will give you nothing beyond your strength. You know the power of My grace; let that be enough‘ ” Divine Mercy in my soul # 1491
Walk by faith and let Jesus’ grace be enough.