In foxholes

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They say there are no atheists in foxholes.  I don’t doubt that.  On the front lines, in the ‘foxhole’, that is where the supernatural gift of faith comes alive.

When the fire is burning hot enough to melt titanium, can the soul stand in the furnace?  I’ve never felt this level of faith.  I see

In Daniel 3, Shadrach, Meshach and Abed’nego sang praise to God, “we have no need to answer you in this matter.  If it be so, our God Whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning furnace, and He will deliver us out of your hand…But if not, be it known to you, O king, that we will not service your gods or worship the golden image which you have set up.”Daniel 3:16-17   THIS is faith.  

No matter the outcome, a soul needs to trust God’s power, omnipotence and Divine Will.  His Divine Mercy goes beyond our limited understanding. 

I’ve been in the battle and stood on the frontlines.  

To see myself kneeling with arms raising in the hospital hallway.  My daughter had just had a code called on her, the doctors and nurses kicked me out so they could work to help her.  All I could do was try to listen to what was going on in the room and pray.  

The night she was in the ICU, I was beyond what I could sustain and could only think to call in reinforcements.  I sent an email to my Emmaus brothers to ask for prayers.  I begged God from the deepest part of my heart for His help.  Later that night, she went into respiratory failure and all I could feel with the heat of the furnace.  I missed all the things God was doing in the moment.

The next months, I struggled through the challenges.  I felt burned out and struggled to find God’s presence.  I felt I was lacking faith and trust.  I had begged God to step into the situations but missed His Presence more often than not.  I forgot all the words He had said to me and all the times He made Himself present.  I didn’t recognize His protection and guidance, and most of all, I missed that He was right beside me.

Over the next months, I really struggled.  And until recently, I felt those days were some of my darkest of faith.  I had felt that my faith had crumbled and that I had failed to stay strong and hold to God’s promises.  From time to time I re-read some of my prior journal entries.  I’ve noted in the months of my ‘dark night’ just how many times I journaled prayers of hope and strength and trust.  And, now in these reflections on my blog and new journal entries and prayers, God has revealed to me just how strong my faith really was in those moments…through those months.  He truly had fortified me. 

In these moments of battle, when the noise of the ‘war’ was so loud and ‘fear’ was at its height, my heart cried out so many words like Shadrach, Meshach and Abed’nego.  I see how many times I recognized God’s presence.  My soul cried out ‘even if’ from its depths.  God was truly my anchor despite all I was feeling around and within me. 

I’ve made a point to delve into a study of the Gifts and the Holy Spirit has revealed so much to me.  I stated in prior reflections that I’ve journaled my reflections and thoughts on the gifts the Spirit has given me.  I listed things that I never thought of as gifts.  The Spirit has revealed these gifts.  The one I wondered if it weren’t one of my weakest was faith.  The Holy Spirit has used these reflections and prayers to reveal strength I didn’t realize.  Thanks to the Holy Spirit’s teaching and revelation, I see now that those times that I felt I had failed in my faith, were actually times that the strength of my faith shined.

When every part of you tells you that you’ve failed, it shows great trust to turn to God in prayer.  What faith to whisper a ‘weak prayer’ when you feel you’re being consumed by the fire.  Your faith shines when the whispers of the enemy are making you doubt your own faith, doubt the promises God has spoken to your heart and when those whispers even make you forget the moments on consolation God has shared with you and you offer a prayer.  What the soul feels is an empty prayers reverberates greatly in the ears of the Father.  When the soul feels weakest, doesn’t feel God is listening or present and still turns in trust to God – The gift of faith goes beyond all understanding and becomes supernatural.

I was broken and doubting in those battles I faced.  But, somehow my soul found a way to call out in the fire.  As I read some of my journaled prayers, I see strength I never recognized.

The Holy Spirit is our advocate and teacher to show us the teachings of Christ Jesus as well as to train us up to be stronger warriors of God.  Sit back in prayerful reflection today, ask the Spirit to reveal times of Faith to you, ask Him to build upon times of weakness and above all ask Him to pour a supernatural level of Faith into your soul.  A faith that burns brighter than the fire in the furnace!  A faith that others can’t miss.  Then, like Nebuchadnezzar in Daniel 3:28, they will praise the power and glory of God.  “Blessed be the God of Shadrach, Meshach and Abed’nego, Who has sent His angel and delivered His servants, who trusted Him…”

This supernatural faith…is just the size of a mustard seed for it doesn’t depend upon self, but fully upon God. Watch for small shoots to break through and don’t let the enemy whisper words of fear – trust in the Holy Spirit to guide and grow your faith. Then shine!