I want to see

“Lord, I want to see” Luke 18:41

Through Jesus, we have be given “the  power to become children of God” John 1:12.  The Father loves looking at His children and desires for them to grow and to look at Him.  We read in the Gospel of John, the great proclamation that first Easter, “I have seen the Lord!” John 20:18

Until we meet AND see Jesus, we are living only a portion of what God desires of us.  And once we truly see Jesus, we see the Father – “He who has seen Me, has seen the Father”. John 14:9

I went through my life without ever seeing Jesus.  I was born and raise Catholic but never really met Jesus or ‘saw’ God.  

Finally, when I let Him I go my life I started living a life for Him but I still hadn’t seen Him.  I would speak about what I had heard or read about Jesus, not more than that. Jesus came physically to my daughter while I sat as witness in the emergency room – see the story in my book “I knew His voice”   But I still didn’t see Him, I saw the effects of His presence and knew what had occurred but I was still blind.

I see that in how I framed my prayers over the next year.  Selfish prayers desiring proof of Jesus’ power and love. Nor prayers of faith or trust, though there was faith within even these prayers just in continuing to pray so often.  I see tonight writing this reflection that the whole time, Jesus was there saying to me, “my son, just look at me, keep your eyes on me, the storm you see is in my power. Trust me.”  That was the whole of the message to my daughter in both visits and the message Jesus gave me each time He spoke to me in those months. But I remained blind (and deaf).

Then, I walked into that dark night of desolation and was further blinded, now to the sense of His presence.  

When I stood before that holy priest that Saturday afternoon in the Sacrament of Confession, he saw through me list of sins and heard the cry of my soul, “LORD, I WANT TO SEE!”.  And behold, through this priest, Jesus said to me, “Receive your sight; your faith has saved you.” Luke 18:42. And, immediately, I regained my sight and followed Jesus, glorifying God (Luke 18:43) 

Ever since that day, I have been striving to give my heart to Jesus more each day.  I met and saw Jesus that day, for me, there is no going back. “I have seen the Lord!” And I will proclaim His glory in my experiences with Him.  If any of these help others to see and praise God, then more reason for me to praise Jesus.