“Oh no! I’ve screwed it all up!“
How many times have you felt this when trying to do God’s Will? For me, I’ve felt I’ve screwed up God’s plan more times than I can count.
So many times the enemy has whispered these words into my ear – “now look at what you’ve done”, “see, you can’t do what God asks, just give it up.” Sadly, in the past I’ve listened to these whispers too many times. By my sins, I’ve failed to live as God desires. By my actions, lack of action and often, overzealousness, I’ve done things outside of God’s planning. By my laziness and lack of faith, I haven’t lived in His Will. It is easy to let the seditious thoughts enter into your heart like a poison. “I am not worthy to follow God” is a gangrenous frost bite creeping into the heart to kill the soul.
Of course none of us are worthy. We rely on the Infinite Merits of Jesus to live within His Will. We lift our hearts, He lifts our souls through the power of His sacrifice on Calvary in His Divine Mercy.
We need to know that despite of failures and sinful natures, or in fact, because of them, we are called to be God’s children to spread news of His Mercy. The Father calls the lowliest of souls, Jesus seeks out the lost sheep.
You’ve heard me talk of my Abraham/Isaac moment and my great failure to trust and follow God’s plan. Everything within me broke that night. I give all credit to God working through the hands and words of a very Holy Priest – Father Joe – for giving me a mighty weapon to overcome all fears and failings and even to destroy the power of sin in my life. That day in the Sacrament of Reconciliation, he gave me as penance to hold a crucifix to my chest as I lay in bed at night or any time the worries of my weakness crept into my heart. As I held this crucifix, I was to repeat over and over the words, “Jesus, I trust in You.” When I first started, they were simple words but with each repetition the power of God’s Mercy sank deeper into my heart, curing me of the poisonous words of my weakness and failure. A decade later, I still do this prayer every day and night before I sleep. I pray it with the crucifix over my heart. It is through these simple words that all power of the evil one has been broken in my life.
I know if I mess something up, I trust God isn’t surprised and is using this to His Plan. I know in my sin, God’s Mercy is flowing and glorified because I trust His Mercy even in the dark moment of sin.
Gaze upon the gentle gaze of Jesus in the Image of the Merciful Jesus. And repeat, “Jesus, I trust in You” and never give into despair. In the depths of your heart, even if you just say it with your lips, say, “Jesus, I trust in You. Jesus, I trust in You.”
One of the gifts of Divine Mercy is that God can bring an even greater good, even out of our sin and failings if only we trust in His Mercy. We will never be disappointed. This is when He will work the miracle. Everything is trust – this is where joys bubbles over.