“The Pharisees, who loved money, heard all these things and sneered at him. And Jesus said to them, “You justify yourselves in the sight of others, but God knows your hearts; for what is of human esteem is an abomination in the sight of God.”” Luke 16:14-15
God knows the heart and only draws near to a humble soul. An arrogant, self-seeking heart pushes God away making Him to be an oppressor. An enemy to its desires.
I share this now, not to be prideful or over humble but to share this heart as a way to hopefully guide others to humility from my sinful nature.
I am a very prideful man, seeking my vanity. Vain glory is the inordinate pride in oneself or one’s achievements; excessive vanity. That is me, my heart. I struggle within of what my intentions are. Do I seek to glorify God? Or is it truly to get the compliments and applause?
What does one do? How does a prideful, vainglorious soul fight against itself?
When I wrote and published “I Knew His Voice” and especially when I’d be invited to speak of the events within this story, I struggled in my heart against this feeling of pridefulness. I have no doubt telling this story is telling His story. Yet, I felt I was trying to pull the glory from God and make it about myself. God is patient and opening my eyes quickly to a solution to this internal fight. God gave people into my life (Stephen and Debbie most especially) who were necessary to make it happen. When you can’t do it alone, being prideful in the end is difficult. God also showed me many times the joy of hearing others share their story. My telling of His story in “I Knew His Voice” was a catalyst to open others to God’s work.
I find such joy in hearing others tell of how the book touched them, He gave me such joy in hearing how their hearing/reading this story moved them to realize how God has moved in their lives.
One more. Emmaus. The men’s Emmaus I was part of always was a place in which I would fight my pride. The talks, the positions on retreat, then, being asked to be ministry head – all a baited trap by Satan to the prideful heart. How did God teach me to recognize and avoid this trap? Part was the same way as before, let my stories be a catalyst for others to see and want to tell me of their story. Maybe, more so, He surrounded me with humble men. Men so much greater than I who ‘shine’ humility. Having such examples around a soul to watch, learn from and even at time tell you when pride is coming out is key to learning to break the pride trap. This led me to see that I could be an example of humility myself and in doing so, learn humility. The final pieces Emmaus offered to break my prideful, vainglorious heart was as the leader. Stepping down and aside for others to lead taught me a joyfully humble heart.
Do you deal with pride and/or vainglory? What do you do to push against this pride so that God wants to draw near to you?
As part of this reflection, I ask you to quickly share your story in the comments at www.theroadoffaith.net. You’ll be doing me a great service against my pride inclinations.