“Live by the Spirit, I say, and do not gratify the desires of the flesh. For what the flesh desires is opposed to the Spirit, and what the Spirit desires is opposed to the flesh; for these are opposed to each other, to prevent you from doing what you want.” Galatians 5:16-17
Not many of us are predisposed with extraordinary graces, we are afforded the gifts and talents as determined by God according to His will to walk the path to sainthood. We must learn to focus on Him and His infinite mercy during confession, acts of contrition, to learn and get up stronger every time we fall and don’t focus on the sins and lose hope because that is what the devil wants.
I’ve told this story several times but it rings out to my soul every time I sin. I want to give my whole self to God – that ultimately means to live free of all sin and attachment to sin. But, I constantly fall into sin, praise God for His Divine Mercy and Sacrament of Reconciliation. I was on a men’s Emmaus retreat and was feeling very low due to unconfessed sin that were weighing upon my heart. We always ask the team leaders to go to Confession as soon before the weekend as possible so they can be free to serve God. But, this weekend work and the world was very busy, not affording me my usual time for weekly confession. So, it came on this weekend that God showed me the separation, the deep chasm that stood between us. While I was serving Him during the retreat, I was doing it with only half a soul. My vision and actions were stained by these unconfessed sins.
As the second day progressed I could feel the little voice in my head telling me how horrible I was for trying to serve the holy and pure God while in a state of sin. The darkness grew around my heart as the minutes passed. This voice wanted me to see myself as a sinful failure and realize I am not worthy to serve God so I should not. Luckily, I have been formed enough through the Church and St. Faustina’s writings on Divine Mercy to realize this voice was not of a holy being. That evening I was able to find a priest who would hear my confession. As the sins poured from my soul like a vile puss, I could feel my heart starting to beat again. Then, it came to those repeated sins. I told the priest if these sins and the condemnation I felt for having to ask again and again for God’s mercy and forgiveness.
That voice was loud saying, “oh now you’ve done it! You are doomed, prepare for justice to rain upon you for not break from those sins.” But, instead I heard the praise say words that shocked me. Father X said, “My son, praise God then for these sins.” I was like, “what! Heresy!” The priest, with tears in his eyes continued, “understand that God doesn’t like these sins or any sin big or small. But, because you are here right now, on your knees with a mournful heart before the Father, you are glorifying His great Mercy. Fight sin, avoid it totally but when it comes again, turn to God the Father, the God of Infinite and Divine Mercy. He will always welcome you and forgive you.”
The key lesson in this reflection is to avoid sin. Be more happy to contract Covid than to face even a small sin. But, know that God holds within His mighty hand, through the cross of Jesus Christ, the ultimate vaccine to sin – Divine Mercy.
“Have confidence, My child. Do not lose heart in coming for pardon, for I am always ready to forgive you. As often as you beg for it, you glorify My mercy.” Divine Mercy in My Soul # 1488