Faith is such a hard thing to hold onto sometimes. Sometimes it feels to me like my faith is a handful of fine sand, it slips through my fingers, so hard to grasp. Then add the winds of a storm in life’s challenges and it blows away in the wind. Your faith seems to be so hard to grasp and even when my hands seem so full of faith there is so much to blow it away and make it feel impossible to hold onto.
Can I persevere? Sometimes I wonder. It feels like I am empty just struggling not to struggle or doubt. Just fighting to be the Catholic man I’m called to be. Be a saint? That dream seems so far away and impossible.
But then as I sit in this valley of struggle, feeling everything is an uphill climb, I am reminded that the valley is often the most fertile ground. In the valley one finds lush vegetation and cool springs. Fed in the valley by His spring my faith grows.
CS Lewis wrote in the Screwtape letters ‘it is during such trough periods much more than peak periods that it is growing into the sort of creature He wants it to be’
In the valley is His eternal spring and as I gaze up I see His brilliant sun over the mountains and vigorously I begin the climb. I persevere in hope of standing again in His Light.
No matter the valley or peaks or even darkest night of the soul – He is there.
In writing my book “I knew His voice” I came to realize what seemed the deepest darkest time of my life was that fertile valley the grows faith. And now, praise God, I stand on the mountain peak, basking in the light, mercy and grace of our Lord. And through His blessings and strength “I knew His voice” is allowing my family to reach my hand down the hill into the valley and pull others up.
Remember always that everything is for the glory of God and if we but just keep hope in Him who saves, we will be saved.
Just look at the cross or taste the Eucharist and never underestimate the love of Christ.