“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father in heaven. On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many deeds of power in your name?’ Then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you; go away from me, you evildoers.’” Matthew 7:21-23
Yesterday I reflected upon coming to know Jesus. Being able to stand before the Man and know Who He is. Coming to know Jesus so well that in a crowd you will be able to recognize His face and despite all the noises of the world, hear His voice.
But, when you finally do come before Jesus, will He know you? Will the God of the universe recognize your face or know your voice?
To be honest, this is one of my greatest fears – that someday I will drop to my knees before Jesus, with tears on my face, proclaiming, “My Lord and my God.” But, Jesus will look at me and say, “I never knew you; go away from Me you evildoer.”
“Everyone therefore who acknowledges me before others, I also will acknowledge before my Father in heaven; but whoever denies me before others, I also will deny before my Father in heaven” Matthew 10:32-33
I spent a lifetime denying God, three plus decades running from Him and denying His existence. I spent all those years living a sinful life beyond what shame-filled words could express. Even since I’ve come to recognize the reality of God and more so, the presence of Jesus in my life, I’ve denied Him by my continued sins.
On my knees this morning in meditation, I fear His denial of me. I will come before the throne of God, with nothing to claim but my tarnished soul. What if on that day, Jesus looks at me with the most frightful eyes, the eyes of a stranger…
A terrifying moment to imagine.
I know who I am and what I’ve done and not done. I know He knows. I do try to glorify His Name and His mercy in my words. But, I fear that I am not coming close enough to Jesus as a friend that He would recognize. I fear that through my lifetime I will not prepare myself and be garbed appropriately for the feast.
“…work out your own salvation with fear and trembling…” Philippians 2:12
Until the day I kneel before His judgment seat, I will continue to work to know Him well enough that He recognizes me. I will fall, and fall again, but, each time I will get back up and reach for His Divine Mercy as Peter reached for His hand from under the stormy waters. I will do all in my power to “work out my salvation” and learn of Jesus through His word and through prayer that He will recognize my voice. And, most of all, I will beg for and trust in His Divine Mercy, that on that day, at His knee upon my knees, I will find myself garbed in the mantle of Mary, enveloped in the Blood that flowed from His Sacred Heart on Calvary.
Until I stand before Him, all I have is trust and hope. In that momeant when I finally stand before His judgment seat, the only treasure I will hold is trust. Start building up the treasury now – ‘Jesus, I trust in You.’