Dependence – part 3

“’Amid the greatest torments, I fix the gaze of my soul upon Jesus Crucified; I do not expect help from people, but place my trust in God. In His unfathomable mercy lies all my hope. The more I feel that God is transforming me, the more I desire to immerse myself in silence. The love of God is doing its work in the depths of my soul. I see that the mission which the Lord has entrusted to me is beginning” Divine Mercy in my soul # 681-682

The more I immerse myself in the Lord. The more the love of God is doing its work in the depths of my soul. At times the mission He is entrusting to me is crystal clear and other times He places a fog about me. I Would desire to see all He has planned but I trust His plans, even in hiding them from me.

It’s a matter of trust.

I have begged God to make clear the plans, let me see what He has as a goal in the crisis I was in. In hindsight, it was best not to see all because the path would have been too much in whole for me to travel. But, step by step the path wasn’t too bad To walk. When I look back, I realize that if I had known everything being asked of me, I would have run and hidden like Jonah.
I look back at that first call ing by God to me as I sat in the bleacher seats at the Men’s Gathering. I didn’t know why I had come, I was very new in the return to my faith. I was not on fire in any way but I guess one could say there were sparks on the kindling God had placed throughout my life. It was time for God to ask me to move. Step one in His call was simply an invitation to the event. Step two was when Bill got on stage and talked about the Saturday men’s group at his parish. His words were like a fan to those sparks. I felt God call to me to speak to Bill about his group, seemed appropriate since they were located very close to my home. Easy? For the introvert I was at the time, it was a huge step for me to get up and walk down to introduce myself. God made it easier though by giving Bill and Tom a very welcoming heart and giving me an invitation to join them the following week.

This whole event seems so insignificant. All I did was say hi. I did take them up on their invitation, joining their group the following Saturday. This simple invitation from God though was step one on a path of service. No doubt, that shy, new Christian would have instantly said no and run away if God had showed all the plans for the next decade. I would have looked at the end and seen it to be too much for me.

I praise God for His wisdom in giving us the plan in small pieces that we can handle. I remember years later, sitting outside a church after a meeting with the pastor. I was asked to go for an interview to be the ministry head for the men’s Emmaus. My first thought when asked told i was being considered for this role was to want to run away. My wife kept me focused on Jesus though and convinced me to be open to God’s calling. Well, the interview was an appointment by the pastor. After speaking to me for a while, he simply said, “you’re it. God has told me He wants you in this role”. Suddenly I found myself as the ministry head of a ministry that had affected me greatly. I sat in my car as I reached to start the engine and looked out the windshield. I looked up to the blue, sunny sky and asked, “God, how did I get here? I didn’t want this or any leadership, I just want to humbly serve You”. His response was clear, Jesus replied to my heart, “son, you ARE humbly serving me. You got the this place one fiat at a time. I have called you to this and much more. Just keep your eyes on Me and let Me lead you. Trust and do not fear, I AM always with you”.
The soul is completely dependent on God, whether it recognizes that trust or not. And God is dependent upon our yes, our small simple fiat. God’s Divine Will guides all creation and it is our free will that He asked our consent. Even Jonah as he ran was being led and guided to God.

The soul needs to learn to follow God in this moment only. Don’t try to look down the road to see the destination, just take the next step and trust God for the way. Jesus is ‘the Way, the Truth and the Life’. John 14:6

Trust Jesus to lead you to the Father and the Father to lead you by His Spirit along the Road of Faith.