“In order to purify a soul, Jesus uses whatever instruments He likes. My soul underwent a complete abandonment on the part of creatures; often my best intentions were misinterpreted by the sisters, a type of suffering which is most painful; but God allows it, and we must accept it because in this way we become more like Jesus.” Divine Mercy in My Soul # 38
We all pray that God give us blessings and bright skies on our journey through life. We look to God and ask for money and peace as we walk our Road of Faith homeward to God.
But, how does the soul react when that isn’t what we get?
A great priest and friend once gave me guidance that stung me to reality in God’s vision. I had expressed my desire that my kids come to know God now while things were good. I came to see God the first time at the side of my dad’s casket. I didn’t want that of them – let them find God in peace that when a struggle comes, He’s already center for them. My friend said, ‘so, would you be angry if they found God at your casket?’ My eyes squinted and jaw dropped, what if that were when they found Him?
It’s not wrong to ask God to deliver us from evil days, keep us safe from storms and help our loved ones walked in sunshine. But, we need to know that God use ‘whatever instruments He likes’ to bring His loved ones home.
I always prayed God give me ‘wealths’ of life and abundance of sunny days, with the asterisk at the end, ‘but Thy Will be done.’ I always figured ‘Thy Will’ would be good things and happy days. Then, disaster struck. My daughter was diagnosed with Lupus Nephritis and spent many days in hospitals with several of those being dire moments of life and death. I saw my prayers for sunshine and treasured moments being ignored by God. I even saw that He was ignoring my begged prayers to heal my daughter.
I would never have desired to walk through that dark night, and especially never desired my daughter’s suffering. I would have taken it all upon myself if God allowed.
“In order to purify a soul, Jesus uses whatever instruments He likes.” He used my fears and the storm to purify my soul. He used these days to plant and grow a harvest of trust in me. He used the dark night and suffering to draw me to Him.
It’s ok to enjoy the sunshine and joys of life when God sets you in those days. But, if God chooses to bring you, or a loved one, to see Him and believe and trust in Him through a storm and dark journey, accept it with a bit of joy.
I asked many times, “Why God are You allowing this?” “”Why God….?” Then came the storms and my faith and trust bloomed. I still ask “Why God are You allowing this?“. But, now I’m asking not of fear or worry, but out of a sense of wonder and awe. I know God has worked in marvelous ways in my life through dark nights and raging storms. So, when I hear distant thunder, I look to see what God has in plan.
Keep these words to heart and mind, “In order to purify a soul, Jesus uses whatever instruments He likes.” He loves you so much and will use all the tools of creation to help you see and love Him back, even the storm.