We hold on so tight to everything. Letting go is often so difficult for us.
I remember a conversation I had with our spiritual director who spoke of our children. He said we just need to be able to let them go to the Lord. I said, “I can’t do that. I don’t want them to be apart from the Lord.” I don’t want them to face the storm, in a floundering boat, without the Lord. He replied, “trust me, He loves them more than you do. Who wants them at God’s side more than God? Who has more love or power – you or God? Trust in God and surrender them to their Sacraments – Baptism and Confirmation.”
I learned this worry and fear for my kids’ salvation has been hold me back from God. it is a piece of my heart and my world which I fight to hold control of. Yes, it is my fatherly duty to present them to the Father – but, my offering isn’t necessarily one of presenting them at His throne but more, presenting them to God in surrender.
One time that always resonates and honestly, sometimes stings is when God spoke the first time to me after Kristina’s diagnosis. Kneeling before the Blessed Sacrament, through my tears and anger, God said, “Trust me, I will take care of My daughter.” “My daughter” not your daughter. I was shaken, still am by this revelation. I those days I still fought to hold to my daughter not releasing her to her Father’s providence.
Letting go, surrender—it’s really an important part of prayer. And the Holy Spirit desires to help us, to allow us to do that.
Today, let’s pray that the Holy Spirit would enable us to surrender whatever keeps us from God. What do you hold on to that the Lord wants you to be able to let go of? Take a second. Again, not just figuring it out, not just trying to remember, but, asking the Holy Spirit to show you.
Then, asking the Holy Spirit to help you surrender control. To help you open your hand and let go.
It’s taken years and I still struggle, but I’ve come to realize the truth in God and my kids. He does love them more and has loved them longer. He desires their relationship more and has more power to shift walls and doors to give them a path back to Him. But they have to make that choose – not me and not even God can force it.
Surrender should be easy. But, the devil spends all efforts from our first thoughts and learning to get us to hold on tight to what we have, to what we’ve earned and love. He says through all manner and people that it is for us to do and achieve. “Fight the good fight” from his lips means WE fight and when we lose, we fall – alone.
God says “The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to keep still” – Exodus 14:14. Surrendering all outcomes to Him – trusting and knowing that it is His providence and His love and His Divine Mercy that will win the day in our hearts (and those of whom we most love).
Surrender is key – surrender is the ultimate act of trust.
Jesus you love my kids and grandkids more than I can begin to imagine – I raise the white flag. I surrender them and their salvation to You.