I know that today is a Praise Monday on the Road of Faith, but, as we move into Holy Week, all thoughts look to the cross. And, this word rings out too strongly in my head to ignore.
“But” often carries negative connotations with it. So often for me it has been the spiritual escape hatch. “Lord, I’d do that but I’m not qualified.” Or, even, “Thy Will be done in all things, but…” So many of you holy saints who follow The Road won’t understand that. But, many see this as a negative spin word. Turning a yes to a no with a simple ‘but.’
BUT, this week, let’s look through the eyes of the man heading to the cross for us. Jesus, the Son of God, Lord of all and our Savior. Let’s start to look at but as a transition towards God not away.
This is trust and surrender.
I started to learn it in those days when my daughter was sickest – “God, I know You are all powerful and I trust You but ‘only when I see my prayer answered in the way I want it.’” That night in the ICU, I argued with all my ‘buts’ as I worked myself into a place of fear. “I know if she closes her eyes, she will be with God, joyously happy, but, I’ll have lost her”, and “Jesus said to trust Him, ‘I know but..’” rings so clearly to this day nearly fifteen years later.
Then, those months later, coming through the other side of my dark night, I started to learn to truly trust God. And, though it still comes in fears, ‘but’ now is a transition to God not away. I write of that realization in “I knew His Voice” (revised). The day she lay again in an ICU, doctors said, “we don’t know if we can even keep her stable.” I walked into her room, lifted my hands over her in prayer and lifted my tearful eyes to God. “Lord, I beg You to heal her, to show Your magnificent power. I know if it be Your Will, it will be done with just a touch of Your tassel. But, if it be Your glory that she come home today to Your side, I will praise and glorify You! I will raise Your story and glory to all who will listen.”
We often wish reality to be what we desire, but, when we surrender to God and trust in His Will, desiring His Will be done, we come to true faith and peace. We come to see God’s Kingdom in our midst now, to see Jesus right beside and with us.
Even the Lord had His ‘buts’ –
“My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? … Yet you are holy, enthroned on the praises of Israel. In you our ancestors trusted; they trusted, and you delivered them. To you they cried, and were saved; in you they trusted, and were not put to shame.” Psalm 22: 1, 3-5
“My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from me; yet not My Will but Thy Will be done.” Matthew 26:49
Take your moments and darkness and fear, offer them to the Lord with you but as you proclaim that yes these days are hard and may be impossible for me to overcome, but You are still and always my God. In this darkness I tremble, but You are Holy, enthroned in the Heavens, I join in even now as all creations praises you.
Find “I knew His Voice” through the links below: