“Jesus said to Simon, “Put out into the deep water and let down your nets for a catch.” Simon answered, “Master, we have worked all night long but have caught nothing. Yet if you say so, I will let down the nets.” When they had done this, they caught so many fish that their nets were beginning to break. So they signaled their partners in the other boat to come and help them. And they came and filled both boats, so that they began to sink. But when Simon Peter saw it, he fell down at Jesus’ knees, saying, “Go away from me, Lord, for I am a sinful man!”” Luke 5:4-8
“And I said: “Woe is me! I am lost, for I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips; yet my eyes have seen the King, the Lord of hosts!”” Isaiah 6:5
When we encounter God, we realize how so very far we are from being worthy to be in His Holy, Divine presence. My reaction with each of my encounters with God has been overwhelmingly the same. I’ve come before God the Father and Jesus several times in the past years, in visions and voice and before the tabernacle and Eucharist. Each time, whether just hearing His voice or seeing Him in a vision or encountering God through other means, I have been pressed to my knees. Each time my soul has cried out Peter’s words. “Go away from me, Lord, for I am a sinful man!”
God is so Holy. His holiness pales that of the greatest saint or angel. Even just the sound of His Name is enough to shake the world.
“When Jesus said to them, “I am He”, they stepped back and fell to the ground.” John 18:6
Imagine the comparison to us on earth. I can’t even begin to contemplate how far separated from God that I am. I am the lowest of sinners and He is the greatest of all.
But, each time God has ‘cone before me”, He has made the move to call me up and pull me to my feet. God knows just seeing His face would destroy us in His holiness, so He has made the move to come to us in a manner we can survive. In Jesus, we can behold the face of God. But, even in this manner, His holiness is so immense He has to hide it from us to protect us.
This doesn’t stop God from calling us. “Whom shall I send?”, “Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men.” In fact, this is a reason He does call us. To call us and raise us to His holiness and to show other lost sheep that God wants and works with sinners. His call to the sinner’s heart shows His immense love for the least of these.
“The seraph touched my mouth with it and said: “Now that this has touched your lips, your guilt has departed and your sin is blotted out.” Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send, and who will go for us?” And I said, “Here am I; send me!”” Isaiah 6:7-8
“Then Jesus said to Simon, “Do not be afraid; from now on you will be catching people.” When they had brought their boats to shore, they left everything and followed him.” Luke 5:10-11
When God calls and you ‘fall on the ground’, don’t be surprised when He lifts you to your feet, cleanses you with a holy ember, dusts you off and calls you to step out.