“Wives, be subject to your husbands as you are to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife just as Christ is the head of the church, the body of which he is the Savior. Just as the church is subject to Christ, so also wives ought to be, in everything, to their husbands.” Ephesians 5:22-24
What does this verse have to do with being a man? Well, to be honest, when most women read Ephesians 5, they get riled up in these words. And, many men give a great grin and manly grunt.
In our Pc world, where everyone seems to live in glass houses, this can almost be inflammatory. But, one can’t stop reading there. To understand truly what St. Paul and Jesus are saying in these words, you have to continue on to Ephesians 5:25-28.
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, in order to make her holy by cleansing her with the washing of water by the word, so as to present the church to himself in splendor, without a spot or wrinkle or anything of the kind—yes, so that she may be holy and without blemish. In the same way, husbands should love their wives as they do their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.“ (emphasis mine)
Husbands must love their wives to the point of total self-sacrifice. If the man expects his wife to “respect him” (Ephesians 5:33), he can do no less than to love his wife as Christ loves His Church – to the cross, to death.
The true test of the man of his willingness to place his wife, or woman in his life, before himself. He must place her needs and desires before his own. No, I’m not saying run out to the mall and gleefully sit while she tried on every outfit. No, I mean to place her strongest, most deeply ingrained desire of her heart above everything else in the world. The desire of every woman and man, whether they realize it or not, is God. The man must be willing to stand in the breach, before the powers of hell and defend her. When she is weak and unable, he must be willing to carry her cross along with his own.
The wisdom of a really man is when he is willing to humble himself, put his pride aside, and listen to his wife. Men don’t like to receive directions- we can do this without help. Huge lie of the enemy! Man is not made to go it alone. A man who has a Proverbs 31 wife is blessed beyond measure to have a woman at his side who will call out when he is on the wrong path. Not judgmentally but with total love of God. “The heart of her husband trusts in her” Proverbs 31:11
No lie, every man desires to be brave and strong. My friend, Patrick prayed to God to be Batman. My prayer to God since I was a little boy was to be a knight in shining armor. Brave, chivalrous and strong. As I grew older, I saw that desire at its heart had a woman to defend. When I met my wife, all those dreams came to fruition. I was anointed by God as His knight to defend this woman. To be her strength when she had none, to stand against the enemy to my last breath, to bring her consecrated to God the Father.
Women deserve this type of man. A man who sees her as equal in every way – equal but different. This declaration liberates men to be the men that God wants them to be, and women to be the women that God wants them to be, enabling relationships to grow in wonderful ways.
Sometimes I may feel no more than a lowly squire but I will never stop striving to be the knight and man my wife deserves and needs. My wife is a strong Proverbs 31 woman, focused and centered on God. For that I am thankful to God. My wife has a strength derived directly from God but looks to me to lead her spiritually as I am humbly led by her to God.
“Husbands, in the same way, show consideration for your wives in your life together, paying honor to the woman as the weaker sex, since they too are also heirs of the gracious gift of life—so that nothing may hinder your prayers.” 1 Peter 3:7